Breathe
by animallover0109
Summary: With Sam stuck a human and Grace stuck a wolf, each day is a struggle for both. To live, to breathe, and to be near each other. Can this pair overcome it all? -Set after Linger. Updated!
1. Chapter 1

**AN: So... I just recently read both Shiver and Linger and I've been thinking of writing this since then. Well...this is my first shot at a Shiver fanfic but I've written over 20 other stories, almost all of them being Twilight. This is the first thing I've written in a while, so any feedback would be much appreciated :) Please enjoy :)**

_Disclaimer: Shiver and it's charecters belong to the author of the book, not to me._

**Breathe **

_**Chapter 1:**_

_Grace POV_

My paws hit the ground in time with those of the wolves around me. My shoulders would occasionally brush with either Cole or Beck, but never Shelby. Shelby and I always ran at opposite sides of the pack when we had to be together. I usually preferred to be alone though, and for good reason.

Sam had always told me that when you switched into your wolf form, you lost all memory of your human life and became, for the most part, a normal wolf. You were supposed to have normal wolf instincts, including the fear of humans. The only thing that you might have carried over, he said, was being able to recognize people from somewhere. However, the fear almost always won out.

But that is just everything that Sam told me. My personal experience? Well…I guess I wasn't normal. I could remember every bit of my human life from the very first memory I could remember as a child all the way up to that fateful day in the hospital.

So where does that leave me now? I'm just lost, confused, and mourning. For the winter months, possibly longer since it's more than halfway over now, I'm stuck in a wolves body and dreading most of it.

The freedom was probably one of the only things that I didn't mind. Nor did I mind the ability to be so close to the other werewolves without having to spend my time awkwardly trying to start a conversation or anything like that. It was simply enough to just stand by them, occasionally nudge their shoulder in hello and send a picture though our strange mind links when it was needed.

There were just so many negatives for me to deal with. Most of my waking moments were spent thinking of Sam. It drove me crazy just how much I missed him. Many times I wanted nothing more than to find the house where I knew he was sure to be. He had to be there to check the shed and keep us wolves out of trouble, plus he had nowhere else to go.

I resisted though. The first few times that I actually set out to go to him, either Beck or Cole would pull me back towards the pack: just a natural instinct to protect me from the dangers that were still not quite known to me. After that though, it seemed as though Shelby was always lurking nearby, waiting for me to get far enough from the pack that she could attack me: a natural instinct that she disliked me, as well as a feeling of pack rank.

A solid hit on my right shoulder brought me back to reality. Cole veered slightly from the hit as I stumbled slightly before regaining my footing. Hunting was always a challenge, as it was now. We were all tightly grouped so that we stood a better chance if we came across any predators, but it had its drawbacks: the constant bumping included. The fact that I loathed killing the animals made hunting even worse, but I knew that I needed to hunt in order to survive.

Frustrated by my ever wandering mind, I slid to a halt and let the pack continue on. Shelby had been running in the front, so I knew that I was safe from her for a little while at least. Turning, I started to walk back towards the place where I, as well as the rest of the pack, always rested. It was in the woods that Sam had shown me from the very beginning.

Sam. The thought of him sent a feeling of longing throughout my body. My dreams just weren't enough for me, not anymore. I had to see him, and soon. Yes, I knew that all I had to do was survive until spring to be with him for a few blissful months, but I couldn't wait that long. I wanted him, needed him, right now.

Changing course slightly, I picked up my pace and headed towards the house, praying that he would be there. I'd give anything just to see his face. Thin as I was, I should have stuck with the pack and gotten food. But as long as Sam was at the house, he'd feed me. Some way or another he would, whether I was human or a wolf, he would take care of me.

Watching my step, I started the 20 minute run to the remote house with only one thing on my mind: Sam.

**So that's it for chapter 1. Please review and let me know how I'm doing. Thanks for reading! :)**


	2. A Wolf's Fear

**AN: Hey guys I'm back for another chapter! :) I just want to say thanks to **_**rosejack617, zacharaels-pain, and NinjaWizardGleek15 **_**for reviewing the last chapter. This chapter is dedicated to you :) Thank you to everyone else for reading. Without further ado, here's chapter 2!**

_Disclaimer: I own nothing but the idea._

Chapter 2: A Wolf's Fear

Paws aching from the lengthy run, I slowed to a walk within a mile of the old farmhouse that Sam lived in while he watched over the pack and waited for our return to the human world. That last mile was probably one of the toughest walks of my life though the footing and the path that I followed were clear and easy. It was my mind that I wrestled with.

I couldn't help but think that maybe Sam wouldn't be happy to see me. At the very least, he was going to be very confused. The only way a wolf (or in our case a werewolf) would dare to go near humans was if it were sick and most likely dying. Seeing as I was neither sick nor dying, he would be extremely confused as to my appearance.

I halted within seeing distance of the large house, at war with myself. Crouched in the bushes so that I would remain nearly invisible, I watched and thought. Okay… a list of pro's and con's.

Good: Get to see Sam, probably get fed, stop being harassed by Shelby, get out of the cold and often snowy weather.

Bad: Don't really get to be as close to Sam as I want to be, confuse him, perhaps it'd just make it worse when the time came that I needed to leave the house and return to the woods.

So…there were more good things than bad things, but did the bad outweigh the good? Frustrated, I laid my head down upon the frozen ground, ignoring the cold and icy feeling of the snow against me. I needed my Sam back, but could just being near him be enough for me or would I just constantly drive myself crazy by wanting more than I could have when I was stuck in a wolf form.

Ugh…too many questions. I closed my eyes and tried to rid my mind of all of my doubts. Either I was going to see him or I wouldn't. Simple enough….well it sounded simple enough anyways. However, I was quickly learning that it wasn't quite so simple.

The small part of my mind that made me a wolf urged me to return to the woods and get away from all signs of civilization and the dangers that human beings signified for a wild wolf. The larger part of my mind kept drawing my attention towards the house though, and the boy that was sure to be there, waiting for spring to come so that he wouldn't be so alone.

That larger part of my brain won out though I was still unsure of what the right decision was. Rising to my feet, I padded slowly along the border of the woods, staying under cover of the trees for as long as I could. Reaching the point closest to the house, I took a deep breath and stepped out of the woods that had provided me with my safety for what seemed like such a long time.

As I crossed the snowy yard, that small wolf instinct of mine refused to shut up. I kept walking though; I needed to see my Sam. He was everything to me and it was getting too hard to continue to live in the woods while he took over my mind: waking or sleeping.

Ears fully raised, I listened carefully for any signs of approaching cars or movement but heard nothing. Continuing my slow but steady trek across the yard, the doubts threatened to take back over. The woods loomed behind me: safe and secure. But the house loomed in front of me, beckoning me towards Sam.

Sick of arguing with myself, I abandoned all of my cautions and watchfulness and sprinted full out across the rest of the lawn, arriving at the door with plenty of breath left in me. Shaking slightly from an unfounded fear, I looked around the porch.

Nothing had changed from the last time I was here, which probably meant that everything else was also still the same. How was a wolf supposed to get into a house if she couldn't exactly work a door? Frustrated by the flaw in my plan, I walked up to the back door and pushed gently on it with my nose, jumping back in shock when I found that it hadn't been shut completely.

Happy with my stroke of good fortune, I pushed it open so that the opening was just wide enough for me to squeeze into the house. Sliding carefully between the door and the frame, I stepped a foot inside the house, listening carefully. When nothing happened, I fully entered the house and looked around the nearly empty room.

Boxes were pushed up against the one wall of the kitchen while the other was still just counters, the stove, and the fridge. I walked slowly over to the boxes and peered inside. Cans and boxes of food taunted me to rip them open and devour the contents. Sam would feed me though, at least I hoped, and that would be much cleaner and easier.

Reluctantly turning away from the food as my stomach tightened in protest, I made my way out of the kitchen. Wandering the house slowly, I found it odd that none of the lights were on. With my wolf eyes, I was able to see perfectly in the darkness though, so I didn't really mind it. It was definitely strange though.

Reaching the staircase, I hesitated a moment and looked around one last time. Still seeing no movement or lights anywhere, I made my way upstairs step by step. As I rose higher from the lower level, I was able to see the faint glow of a light somewhere ahead of me. Excited but wary, I quickened my pace up the stairs.

Finally at the final landing, I hauled myself up the final stair and headed towards the light which I was able to decipher was coming from Sam's room. Hesitating slightly outside of the bedroom door, I pushed it open slightly with my nose and peered in.

Sam was sprawled across the bed, staring blankly at the paper cranes that dangled from the ceiling. With his iPod turned on, he hadn't even heard the door squeak with my intrusion. Shouldering my way past the door, it swung open more as I carefully walked towards him.

At the edge of the bed, I sat and watched him for a moment. If it weren't for the steady rise and fall of his chest and the occasional blink, it would have been hard to tell that he was even alive. Steeling my resolve, I slowly stretched my neck out to touch my nose to his dangling leg….

**AN: Over 1000 words! :) I feel accomplished now XDD Please leave a review to let me know how I'm doing or how to further improve my writing. Anyone who reviews gets mentioned at the beginning of the next chapter and gets a virtual cookie! Haha thanks for reading.**


	3. Fleeting

**AN: Hello readers! I'm so incredibly sorry for the delay in this chapter, but life got in the way (funny how it has a way of doing that…) Yes I know…it's been months so you're probably thinking what the hell were you doing? Alright…very very very brief explanation: finished up my last (insane) months of my senior year, graduated, spent my summer panicking/shopping for school, then moved into my dorm in Minnesota: 6 hours away from home, 8 hours away from my boyfriend. And now I'm in college classes and yeah…lots going on with that. So I apologize, truly I do. I promise to update as much as is possible. And to all of you AMAZING reviewers out there, here are your virtual cookies! *holds out plate* Sorry I'm not mentioning you all, I need to get sleep and writing them all will take too long XDD**

_Disclaimer: I still own absolutely nothing aside from the idea…hurrayyyy! :)_

Chapter 3: Fleeting

Ever so gently, I pushed my muzzle against Sam's knee. Startled, Sam jumped straight up in the air and then shot over to the other side of the room, eyes darting around in confusion. After a few moments of searching, he finally spotted me, hunkered down next to the bed. Though my mind was still partially human, sudden movements and loud noises still sent fear through my veins.

At the sight of me, Sam's eyes softened though they looked slightly worried. "Grace," he whispered softly; so softly that if I had been human at the time, I would not have heard it. I let my ears rise slightly from my head, no longer quite so wary now that the wolf side of my mind was temporarily soothed.

Slowly, as not to startle me, Sam inched closer to where I stood. His right hand reached out for me, causing me to recoil unwillingly. Instincts were hard to control, no matter how human I remained in this body. He paused for a minute, a flash of hurt shining clearly in his eyes before he was able to hide it.

I let my ears fall again, ashamed of myself. Though I logically knew that Sam would never even consider hurting me, the wolf inside of me refused to give in to my wishes.

"It's alright Grace," Sam sad, just a hint of sadness creeping into his voice. "Let's go get you some food," he added on. Tail wagging slightly, I followed him back into the kitchen, my stomach clenching at the mention of food.

Reaching the kitchen, I sat down on the cool tile and watched him flit around the kitchen. He let himself become lost in the task at hand, digging through the cabinets to find certain foods and pots to cook it in. By the end, I had a bowl of chili placed before me. Probably not the best thing to feed a wolf, but it was what he had, not to mention it tasted delicious.

I was surprised at how self-conscious I was while eating out of the bowl. I was a wolf, and there was no way to avoid eating the way I was, but still I longed to have my hands and eat the food properly. Licking the bowl clean, I felt degraded.

Stomach satisfied, I sat and watched as Sam cleaned up the mess that he had made. The wolf part of me started to grow uneasy, sending my mind into a battle that I wish it didn't have to fight. The sides of me clashed: human and wolf, mind and body.

The human part of me longed for Sam's touch, to be able to reach out for him, embrace him, show him just how much I had missed him. I wanted nothing more than to be in his arms, safe and content. Well…that's what the human side of me wanted.

My wolf half was screaming at me, wanting me to run far away: away from this restricting walls, away from this human-Sam. Instinct would not let go of the fact that humans were the enemy, that humans meant danger. The wolf part of me would not, could not, realize that Sam wouldn't ever consider harming me, nor any other wolves for that matter.

My turmoil began to show: my body started to tremor more and more violently. As Sam turned to look at me, his eyes grew worried once more. "Grace?" He said, stepping towards me, longing to help me in any way that he could.

But there was no help for me this time. The wolf inside of me won. Human feelings and thoughts beaten down, I panicked.

Escape.

Danger.

Leave.

I took flight, the terror seizing me: body and mind alike. Sam could only watch as I tore around the downstairs, looking for escape.

Danger, danger, danger: my instinct screamed at me to get away. But I couldn't find a way out. Not like this. In a haze caused by my panic, I bolted down the basement steps, my human memory unreachable: the memory that would have told me that there was no way out of the basement aside from the stairs that I was hurtling down.

Through my state, I heard an unmistakable sound: the sound of a door clicking shut. I was trapped.

**AN: Alright you know the drill, leave a review and get a virtual…pie! :) And give me a smile for these hectic days!**


	4. Just a Moment

**AN: Hello all of you amazing readers! Having a good day today? I AM! :D Finally got my job sorted out (uh oh…one more thing to add to my plate….) and I finally have someone coming up to visit me this weekend :D Good good day….soooo… This chapter is dedicated to...**_**Mrs Obsession **_**and **_**Isabella **_***hands them their pies***_**. **_**Both amazing anonymous reviewers, who I hope stick with this story…as I hope all of the rest of you do! :) So without any further ramblings….chapter 4!**

_Disclaimer: I own nothing but the idea…darn! :)_

**Chapter 4: Just a Moment**

Trapped.

I ran around the large basement, looking for a way to escape, but knowing that I'd find none. I was stuck down here. Why had he trapped me down here? He had been a wolf once…this panic that I was feeling was one that came from the wolf in me: instinct.

Whimpering, I settled down in the far corner of the room, eyes trained on the stairs that I had come flying down not minutes before. I wasn't there very long before I heard a familiar noise: the sound of the heating system turning on.

Through my barely contained panic, I realized what Sam was trying to do: get my body warm enough that I could change back into a human. This thought scared the wolf in me, and I couldn't help but resume my frantic running around the room. I didn't even feel bad when, while scrambling over the couch, I ripped long gashes in the fabric.

Escape, my mind yelled at me. Run; but there was nowhere for me to go. Whether from the frantic running, the panic, or the increased temperature, I started to feel fatigue seeping through my muscles and settling in my bones. Exhausted, I returned to the far corner to lie down and rest, just for a little while.

The heat continued to raise more and more, my fur feeling hotter and hotter.

And then it happened; my skin started to rip apart, the fur retreating until all that remained was smooth white skin. My bones cracked and popped, reforming into a much larger frame. My mind shifted: the wolf side of it retreating until it was nothing more than a distant memory. For the time being, that was no longer a part of me.

The shifting stopped, ending the pain. The sudden change left me shaking, nearly uncontrollably. After five minutes had passed, I was finally able to calm my trembling enough that I was able to stand. Assured that I was steady on my feet, I looked around the room, surprised by how much damage I had done to it in my instinctual panic. Well, no time to worry about that now I suppose.

Looking around the room, I didn't see any sort of clothes at all. _Great_, I thought_. I really wanted to walk around naked…not._ I spotted a solid wood trunk tucked into another corner of the room, so I walked over to it and lifted the lid. My reward? A thick blanket.

Satisfied that I had something to cover my body with, I wrapped myself in the blanket, making sure to cover nearly all of my skin. The blanket only covered my from my shoulders to my knees, but that was all that I really needed to cover. At least until Sam could give me some clothes.

Taking a deep breath, I made my way up the staircase, trying to calm my nerves. I told myself to relax, that it was only Sam. And this had been what I was longing for all of this time.

Gathering my still flustered nerves, I opened the door and poked my head out, looking around. Sam wasn't waiting for me there, so I assumed that he had gone upstairs so he wouldn't have to listen to me panicking in the basement. "Sam?" I called out quietly. It was no surprise to me when I didn't receive an answer: I had spoken too quietly, my voice raspy from disuse.

Sighing, I made my way to the staircase and headed up the stairs. Sure enough, the light was shining brightly in Sam's room, the door wide open this time. I hesitated for a moment in the hallway, debating going into one of the closer rooms first to get some actual clothes, but I decided against it. The person that had the figure closest to mine was Shelby, and there was no way that I was going to borrow anything of hers. She would be sure to raise all hell if she ever found out about it.

Resigned to the fact that I was about to face Sam with nothing but a blanket to cover me, I forced my feet to move forward again, bringing myself into the light that the room was casting into the otherwise dark hallway. Even stepping as lightly as I was, Sam turned towards me the second I appeared in the doorway.

"Grace," he said, his voice a mixture of relief and…anticipation? The latter I was unsure of, I had become so used to relying on seeing what the others around me were thinking, so defining emotions didn't come as naturally as it once had.

"Can…Can I have some clothes?" I asked sheepishly, a blush spreading across my face. Sam suddenly noticed that I was wrapped in a blanket. Blushing a light pink, Sam headed over to his closet and pulled out one of his t-shirts and a pair of jeans that I had apparently left there at some point or another, as well as some underwear that I had no recollection of.

Glad to have something to wear, I took the clothes from him and headed into the bathroom to change. Once the door was closed firmly behind me, I looked at myself for the first time. Scars from some long forgotten cuts showed faintly on my pale skin, but none were all that noticeable. My hair was a mess: tangled beyond belief and rather long as well. I made a face, knowing that getting my hair into a presentable state again was something that would take me forever.

Frustrated, I pulled the clothes on, thankful for the extra warmth they provided me with although the house was at a boiling temperature already. The last thing that I wanted at this point was to revert back into a wolf once more. Now that I was finally back in my normal body, I didn't want to give it up anytime soon.

Grabbing a brush from the cabinet, I opened up the bedroom door to head back to Sam's room, but instead found myself face to face with him. Startled, I jumped back a step.

"Sorry," he said softly, holding his hands up to reassure me that he meant me no harm. "I just figured that you'd probably need some help with your hair," he added while gesturing to the brush I held in my hand.

"I…that'd be great….if you want to," I replied. Nodding, he carefully wet my hair down before dragging the brush through my tangled hair. Slowly and painfully, he worked the many knots out of my hair. Once the brush was able to glide smoothly through my hair, he set the brush down on the counter and enveloped me within his arms.

I let out a breath that I hadn't known I was holding as I wrapped my own arms around his solid body and laid my head against his warm chest. He was here, and I was here: both human, if only for a moment.

No matter how long or how little I had, I planned to make the most of it. With that in mind, I pulled my head away from his chest and looked into his eyes for a minute. His own golden eyes met mine before he moved his head forward a bit, letting his warm lips meet my own.

* * *

**Meh…not my best I don't think but it's decent at least. So…any thoughts/comments/ideas of where I should go next? I'll be pretty busy for a while so any suggestions would help me with my brainstorming a lot :p I also have another idea for a Shiver fanfic but I don't know whether or not to start that….wait no I forgot…I have another 3 XDD One's written but needs the ending edited and the two I haven't started yet…so thoughts on that would be greatly appreciated as well. Any reviewers get the next chapter and get virtual cookies! (they worked better than the pie…) Well…until next time! **


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